James Murphy

James Murphy / Contributor

About a month prior to my 19th birthday I packed a few bags and hopped on a flight to England to basically start a new life.

The hardest part about moving away from home, without a doubt, is no longer living with my mom. For a lot of reasons.

For the past 18 years the only meal I ever made was toast and cereal in the morning, and I only did that occasionally. Here I am now, with my own apartment in another country, cooking my-self dinner every night. She’s not here to clean up my messes, wake me up in the morning or, most importantly, keep me in check like she always has. That’s all up to me now. They seem like such small tasks, but when you relied on your mother for everything, living without her seems like a new world.

It’s also weird waking up every morning and not hearing five other people scattering around the house. Over here it’s just me, waking up and heading off to my job every day.

Then there are my friends. Months have passed and I haven’t hung out with my closest friends, who I’d typically see every day. It’s tough spending so much time away from people who mean so much to me. My friendships and relationships are getting lived out through hours of text messaging and occasional FaceTime calls.

Over the past few years I’ve done a lot of traveling, spending a few weeks or months at a time away from home, but I have never been one to get homesick. That remains true, but I’d be lying if I said moving to a different country was easy.

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I didn’t know anybody when I first got here, I don’t have my family around, my entire routine is changed and even the time zone is different. I’m literally living 5 hours ahead of everybody I know. I’m a seven hour plane ride across the Atlantic Ocean away from home.

When I first arrived in England it was important that I constantly reminded myself why I really moved here. Having that mindset made the move easier. I’m a professional footballer trying to make a name for myself in the game.

The way I look at it, it’s like I’m starting at a new school. I’ve had to meet new people, make friends, impress the teachers, and get good grades. The best part is that instead of going to school I play soccer, my friends are my teammates, my teachers are actually coaches and get-ting good grades means playing well.

I can now say, from my personal experience, that the best way to come into a new place and become respected is to let your presence be known to everyone. Making a good first impres-sion can go a long way. I walked into the locker room and I shook every one of my new team-mates’ hands and introduced myself. It was important not to just sit in the corner and be quiet. I wanted to make sure that I would be a real part of the team, and not just another player.

Then I had to make my presence known on the field. From the very first whistle, on the first day of preseason, I worked hard. I showed that I wasn’t just satisfied with being there but that I wanted to become an important player.

During the first couple of weeks everything was going very smoothly. I enjoyed the soccer side of it so I was happy to be here, settling into this life, and making England my new home.

But, as with everything in life, there have been ups and downs since moving here. I made a mistake that I couldn’t make right straight away and I’ve had a few performances in games that are not up to the standard I hold for myself. Things like that can be extremely difficult to deal with.

All my life my mom has been there whenever I’ve made a mistake, but obviously this time she wasn’t physically here to help me through it. And for as long as I can remember I’ve gone to my dad after every game I’ve played and asked him his opinions. I’d ask how I could do better and what I could fix. Without him here to watch every game I can’t go to him for advice like I always have. I’ve had to learn to deal with those situations on my own.

Years and years from now I’ll look back on my career and recognize those tough times as being just as important as the good ones. Every setback or struggle is something to learn from. I’ve embraced these tougher times and realized that they are part of this journey I’m on and the best way to get through them is by learning from them.

The last few months have been nothing short of incredible. I have had to adapt to an entirely new life away from everything I know and everyone that I love. With that being said, there is nowhere I’d rather be and nothing I’d rather be doing. This is what I’ve always wanted and I’m lucky to actually be in this position living my dream.

 

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